Hmmmmmm

AF has reported after playing hide & seed for 46 days ... It came without any signs ... I was not dissapointed as I had kept my hopes and emotions in check...

BFP for Aries. I'm so happy for her :) She had also taught me on the avocado and umf honey and had started my avocado juice last sat. I dun really like the taste but luckily the guy add sum brown sugar so can taste a bit of the brown sugar .... As for the honey, I'm still looking around and will try my luck @ JP2 later on ....

Looking forward to the gathering among the ladies and updating each other on my updates :)

Update.....

I met Doc Yong today as a follow up of my case. All she could say was the embroyos does not stick to my womb resulting the failed cycle. She was asking how am I coping and when she hugged me, I actually cried and relieved that I has shared my feelings with her. She had mentioned that she would like me to go thru the long protocol when I'm ready to start my next cycle and actually I cld already start and she understands when I say that I wld like to take a break and do it in Nov/Dec. She also request that I go for a blood test to find out whether additional hormones growth in needed? I oblige and has taken the test today....

Today is already Day 45 and I am still waiting for AF to report or am I ?????? I had decided not to test so soon as the nurses had mentioned tt AF would go haywire after a failed cycle... so hear I am still taking things slowly and if AF still does not report till 26 July then I wld take the preggy test .... Keeping my hopes in check and hopes for the best :)

Dear hubby birthday falls on 27 July and he has applied for leave so that we cld spent time together ..... I wld be taking half day on 27 and full day leave on 28 July. He deserved the break as he has been working tirelessly this couple of days with the north star exercise or covering other troops duty :)

Positive Thinking Poems

Charmed Words

There is a reason for things
What will be will be
The future isn't for us to see
Believe that your dreams will come true
In time they should
Don't stressJust feel that someday
You will find those things
Which have been in your dreams
Believe that everything is possible
That all problems are solvable
And life is so livable
Anything can happen
If you want it to
Put your heart towards
This love of your life
Everything will be alright.

Just Posting......

It's been a while since I last blog in here ... so here's the latest about me ...

I'm currently hapi with a new toy (DH bought me a Dell Mini Inspiron 10V) N been bz meddling with it ....

I'm also currently now eating Conceive Well Gold from Blacmores as recommended by dreamgalore N hopefully my cycle will be back to normal soon :) We are also trying naturally now :)

Currently, Sierra & Ros are in 2WW and wishing them BFP BFP BFP while Jas had ET this morning and Aries would be doing her ER this coming monday ... Nicole n Greenie had a BFN and I really understand what they are gg thru now ...

Develyn is still MS with the twins and hopefully she wld get thru it soon :)

Slowly coming out from it!!!!!

I'm proud to say that I'm slowing coming out from the failed cycle.... i dun cry for the last week and had started to exercise .... looking forward to seeing my doctor in July to find out the actual cause for the failure and the next step to take ..... I had made up my mind to try again in Nov/Dec but in the meanwhile I wld be trying naturally ....

Some of the sista had positive results while others negative but those with negative wld be trying again once they are ready like me :)

Keeping everyone in my prayers to have the strength in facing the obstacles of trying to conceive .....

Positive Poem from Another Sister Blogger

Don’t Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out–
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.
- Author unknown

Moving On With Life

I'm thankful n grateful for all that God has been given to me ......

I'm slowly picking myself up and facing reality as it stares at me .... nothing is gg to be changed... the result is confirmed and I had accepted it .....

Planning slowly with DH on the next step and both of us had decided to take a break and allowed my body to recuperate and try naturally .... I'm thankful and glad that DH had been wiv me in the darkest days of my life and guiding me through slowly filled with endless love and support ...... I still do cry whenever I think about it but I'm sure God had other plans for us ..... trying my best to stay happy nowadays and try often not to think about it ... luckily i'm back @ werk n surprisingly it keeps me gg .....

Evelyn had asked me to 'tio' my body with Doctor Zou herbs and will discuss with DH about it ... had mention to DH too about GNC prenatal pills and all he says was 'finished up all the other pills and we will talk about it again later"...heheheh

Well the weekend is here and we had the weekend fully planned ..... Sat wld be karoake session and movies watching and Sun wld be meant for household chores and gathering with old friends .... can'n wait for work to end and for classes to end be4 I cld spent some time with DH .....

Chiao

It's negative and I was devastated ....

I left home yesterday feeling nervous and head for SGH with feeling of anxiety and hope .... had my blood test done and even met my doctor concerning my urine tract problem ... she as usual is anxious for me and hoping for the best for me ....

Reached home and waited and waited for the call and finally @ 1.58pm, Nurse Tan called me to inform that it was negative ... I was devastated and felt so lonely as Abg was working .... I cried and cried and decide that I shld not be @ home alone so I decide to attend the class test ... i attend the test with puffy eyes and luckily for me no one ask about it .....

I started crying the moment I reach home again and constantly asked myself what went wrong ... was it because I was walking too much or I was careless sumhow but I dun seems to find the answers ... mayb God had other plans for me as the saying goes mayb there is other blessings waiting for me .....

Finally, I cld cry to the fullest with dear hubby just now and he had assured me to try again once I'm ready ... I know I would take time to recover but eventually I would .... would have to c my doctor to decide on the next step and since I do not have any storage embroyos, I wld have to start fresh the next cycle once I'm ready... as for the meantime, I wld focus on building up myself and prepare myself for the next cycle ......

Egg Collection

I had my egg collection done on Vesak Day with DH accompanying me throughout the procedure ... DH looks kinda cute in the hospital attire and trying his best to cheer me up as he knows that Im feeling scare :)

A total of 15 follicles were retrieved and thankfully 6 were fertilised with 2 of grade 2 and 4 of grade 3 .... SGH has been updating me the status on a daily basis and I thanks all the doctors and nurses for all their advices and guidance throughout the journey ....

Not forgetting also all my IVF friends built over the motherhood forum for the endless advices and guidances :)

Tomorrow would be my ET and hopefully will get BFP and the end of it .... trying my best not to set my hopes too high too :)

2nd Injection - Centrotide

Had my 2nd injection ytd morning .... the feeling of ant bite and a little itchiness lingers for a while ..... had another 2 days of GonalF and the scanning tomorrow will decide when my ER will be ...hopefully it will happen over the weekend and DH is around looking after me .... pampered u might say but had gotten use to it already :)

Had book a slot for accupunture on thur nite in case the ER falls on friday .... Doc Zou would be away in China so clinic would be covered by Doc Wong :) Let's c whether is he as gentle as Doc Zou :)

Had my 2nd injection this morning and now having a slight headache and praying hard tt it will go away soon ......

Having my lunch now :)

Start of Injection

I had started my 1st shot ytd of 150ml of GonalF ....the injection was like an ant bite but the after effect is terrible .... been having headache since ytd and praying hard tt it will go off soon :)

I started my day with eating 2 egg whites and drinking AnMum milk followed by a bottle of chicken essence.... had also been snacking on 3 pieces of Brazil nut ....

Some of the side effects of GonalF:
- Headaches and breast tenderness
- Nausea/Vomitting - Abdominal distension & discomfort
- Ovarian cyst
- Injection site reaction: pain, redness, bruising, swelling & irritation

Doc Yong is also estimating my ER to be either 11-12 May 09.

Trying my best to keep my cool and not to be too scared about the whole journey ....hoping for the best and able to have the best b'dae gift I had wished for all the years :)

Retail Therapy with DH for 2WW

Had done sum retail therapy with DH in preparation for 2WW ... we had bought compy pillows, bolsters and comforter set ...... I had standy earlier on bedroom slippers and socks ...... hehehheeh

DH is even thinking of ordering tingkat meals but dun tink I cld finish it all so we will work out other alternatives ...

YTD was my last BCP pills and waiting for AF to reports anytime now ..... have mixed feelings at the same time and was wondering what is it like to be injected :)

Sum of my IVF friends are currently or entering 2WW so wishing them BFP BFP BFP :)

Splendid Time @ Batam

We really enjoy ourselves to the fullest during the times we were there :)

I had coloured my hair and I had facial done. DH had his massage and he even went for body scrubbing..... The hotel we stayed in was awesome and it is in the shape of a ship and the interior was really like a shipland :) and it was strategically located close to the city.

My AF came on my way to Batam and luckily I was prepared. I was really looking forward to my injections on my way back but I was informed that I had missed the window period and was told to continue with microgynon pills for 16 days after which hopefully AF came and I could proceed with GonalF.

Batam Here We Come

Yes, it is finalised that we would be gg over to Batam for the coming Good Friday holiday - yippee it will a gd break b4 I start the lucrin shots :)

The rooms has been booked as well as the day tour :) We would be staying at the newest hotel call pacific palace hotel... The hotel has a ship shape as an outlook and hopefully the facilities would be splendid too and I can't wait for the dip in the pool as well as the facial n massage .....

Batam ..... here we come :)

Much Awaited Call

DH informed me that last nite that SGH gave him a call after not being able to get me ... Phew I was lucky as my case has been discussed and yes I was given the green light to start on my coming AF cyles yes the coming AF in Apr 09 which is only couples of days away .....

Mixed feeling were in me as I spoke to the sister this morning as she tried her best to calm me that everything is in order and my doctor request that we met her this thur for final consultation be4 starting the IVF process ...... :)

DH also manage to get time off to accompany me :)

Double Joy

The result of my D3 is out

FSH=5.1
LH=2.7
E2=137
Follicle Count=32 (Right 22 & Left 10)
The nurse had informed that I do not need much medication ... Phew what a relief ... Glad that I'm on TCM and accu and I believe that that play a part too :)

Attended counselling with DH and was informed that should be able to start next AF cycle and now waiting for green light from doc yong pending their team meeting this monday and if everything is in order should be able to start starts lucrin from D2 ... OMG it's getting nearer and nearer ... Had told the nurse that we would be injecting on our own as she agreed :)

My exams result are also out and I gt 3As & 2Bs ..... hopefully would still be able to maintain when junior came :)

All in all it's a double join and not too sure when we would be celebrating .....

Family Gathering

Meet my preggy sil ytd and being new she is still shy all over ..... she is keeping her preggy a secret and was surprise when I ask her .... I told her mother had told me about it and she was being okay ....at least she is not being big-headed about being preggy or I would complain directly to her husband whom is also my elder bro.... heheheheh .....

The rest of the family members was constantly asking the golden qns of when the baby would be arriving ..... all I could replied was the not fated yet ....

She was with us alone as elder bro could not make it .... even father n my DH was surprised that she would turn up alone and staying wiv us for the 3hrs and getting to know more about the rest of the family members ....... not bad for 1st time joining the family gathering ......

Being young n much younger than me, she had refused that I call her elder sis even though she is married to elder bro and to just called her by her name ..... just like what I expected as a young adult ... I dun mind n just called her by her name even though mother n father was against it ..... hehheheh .....

Blood Test & Day 3 FSH & AFC

12 Mar 09, went for all the required blood test such as HIV and others as well as my day 3 FSH AND AFC ... also went for scanning.... according to the nurse, mine was normal and will depend how much the doctor would subscribe my medication for me...

What a relief!!!! I guess TCM and accu had help me in the initial preparation for IVF :)

Being Emotional

Im being trying to keep a brave front from the day mother inform that that my sis-in-law is pregnant and they had only been married since Nov 08 - I was crushed and I know mother was just being happy and not realising the impact on me ...

Initially I wanted to keep it from DH but I realised that I could not hold it any longer .... I had been moody and thinking about it the whole of ytd and finally decide to share with DH about it ... Even be4 I said anything, I started to cry and DH panicked as he thot that he had done sumtink wrong and only after I manage to stop crying and told him the news.... all he could say was, It not our luck yet and hopefully we will have our bundle of joy soon :)

He was just being him and trying his best to confort me ..... Phew I felt much better the moment I share with him and decide to focus on the coming months for IVF ... I know it is not gg to be easy but I am determined to go thru it .....

Had to go to SGH for scanning and blood test for LH, FSH, E2 .... keeping my fingers cross that it would be cleared and the team of doctors have the best option waiting for us.....

The Start Of The Journey

We had finally decided to start our IVF journey after much thoughts .....

I had also started on my accupunture and traditional chinese medicine with Dr Zou @ Ang Mo Kio on a weekly basis .... On my first accu, of course I was feeling a bit worried of the needles, luckily Dr Zou was patient and very gentle :) DH accompany and that gave me the moral support :) Thanks DH for the time spent.....

The traditional chinese medicine(TCM) was bearable and was split into 2 lots ... Lot 1 is meant to help with ovaluation and lot 2 is meant for helping with womb lining :)

I was @ Ang Mo Kio weekly for accu and this is cuming to be the 4th time and I had reserve this cuming Friday :)

I had met Dr Yong (my gynae) for advise and she was happy that we had decided to take this journey together with her help... DH could not accompany me as DH is on training, nevetherless I proceed on my own :)

Had been schedule to attend counselling on 17 Mar @ 2pm and maybe scanning and blood test this week (day 2-4 of AF).

Had finished my TCM as waiting for AF to come :) and only taking folic acid

Ms Chan had bought 2 more packets of brazil nuts for me and that would be sufficient for my 2WW later :)